From the article: Rheumatoid Arthritis Hand Deformity: Inevitable or Preventable?
Shaking hands is supposed to be a greeting, an acknowledgement, and an extension of yourself. When you meet someone or thank someone, it's customary to shake hands. But what if you have arthritic hands? Shaking hands can be painful. But there's no time to explain that when someone extends their hand and reaches for yours. How do you handle the problem since shaking hands and arthritis are not a good mix? Share Your Experiences
Handshake and OA
- I grab the hand first, you have to be fast, but you do know when it is coming. I grab the whole hand of the person with both my hands. I find it is much more intimate then just bumping or extending a few fingers. This does mean that in situations where you are holding something you need to put it down or you always run the risk of pain.
- —Guest Shari
Grab above the hand and shake
- When someone tries to shake my hand, I grab them above the hand at the wrist, and shake. This puts their hand at or just above my wrist. I smile and it just seems I am being more enthusiastic than a regular handshake. It works!
- —cmwlewis
Modified sissy handshake
- My right hand is far more painful than my left since it also has neuropathy. Also, most people are right handed and expect a right handshake, so I usually offer an upside down left hand. This always throws the other person off-guard and they hesitantly accept while looking puzzled at which point I smile and explain. That's usually all it takes to get the other person to become more aware of why a firm grip isn't a good idea.
- —Guest GiGi
A Smile does it for me.......
- Severe degenerative OA/ Thumb & Hand - aggravated by my medication program for other health condition.....NO MORE handshakes for me ! I make eye contact, ' smile ' and say the appropriate words.
- —Barum
Darvon
- They are taking darvon off the market. I have been on it for 44 years and don't know what I am going to do. I have a sensitive stomach and can't take a lot of meds. I can't swallow pills. I need help!
- —Guest Sharon
Do the sissy hand shake
- Coming from an African country you cant avoid a handshake as its termed as rude. So I avoid the firm handshakes by giving the person only my fingers and if its a long lost friend who wants big high five I always miss it on purpose to avoid the pain.
- —Guest Elizabeth
go for it and grip their hand firmly
- I am in the macho world of drain cleaning, no sissy handshakes allowed. My do or die solution is to grip their hand as hard as I can, that way they can't get to squeeze mine. Believe it or not it works, if your strong enough!
- —Guest Quentin Clemence
Handshaking is an outdated custom
- I think the cultures that use bowing as a sign of greeting and respect have it right. Not only is handshaking painful, it spreads viruses from person to person. In this age of swine flu and the like, I think it's outdated and even dangerous. I avoid it by putting my hand behind me while holding the person's gaze. Then, I nod and tell them I'm pleased to meet them but I do not shake hands. I do not feel compelled to explain my medical condition. It's none of their business.
- —Artwinged
Do the Sissy Shake
- As a female manager with RA I can get away with a "sissy shake" in a business setting. I offer two-3 fingers with my palm down (a more dominant posture) which makes the other person reach under with a weaker or submissive grip. If the other person doesn't notice my RA fingers, especially my little finger that stick out from ulnar nerve damage, I THEN explain my that my modified shake is due to RA.
- —Guest Elizabeth95630
Doctor's grip
- I'll never forget the doctor's appointment with my GP during my first arthritis flare. At the end, he reached out and gave me a hearty hand shake. I basically yelped in pain and he felt pretty bad. Now, I try to hold the person's hand in both of mine, as another person suggested.
- —Guest HP
Avoiding the "firm" hand-shake
- Without a doubt, the more enthusiastic another is to meet you, then the tighter the grip of enthusiasm. So, as a hand is extended and I respond, I make an effort to say: I have really bad arthritis. A gentle handshake please. If I forget to say that, the pain reminds me I should not forget next time. Personally, the gentle bumping of fists (The Howie Mandel Hand shake) appeals to me more. I am making an effort to transition to saying I prefer the Howie Mandel hand-shake.
- —Art208
It's a very delicate situation
- I think it's bad manners not shake hands, so whenever possible I only touch the person's fingers, avoiding their end joints and palm of hand. By doing this I can surely avoid a strong/powerfull hand shake and the other person doesn't feel embarrassed.
- —Guest Jose da Silva Neto
Avoiding handshakes
- Having experienced a few well-meaning souls who sought to exhibit their welcoming attitude by crushing my fingers and inflicting excruciating pain, I have learned to do a quick assessment of the person who is offering a hand, and putting my hands behind my back, all the while smiling sweetly and saying: `My hands are full of arthritis, so please excuse me, but I`m so pleased to meet you.`or something along those lines, depending on the situation. So far, it seems to have worked well.
- —Guest Susan
Hide your hands
- I sometimes keep a drink in my hand if at a party. Or, tuck them in my pockets. I try to keep my hands busy or not visible. It's not an A+ solution but works sometimes.
- —Guest BonnieB
Avoid if possible!
- I can usually maneuver people to not initiate a handshake. If I can't, then I'll usually gently hold their hand in both of mine for a couple of seconds to avoid the bone crusher.
- —RMJacobs2
