From the article: Rheumatoid Arthritis Hand Deformity: Inevitable or Preventable?
Shaking hands is supposed to be a greeting, an acknowledgement, and an extension of yourself. When you meet someone or thank someone, it's customary to shake hands. But what if you have arthritic hands? Shaking hands can be painful. But there's no time to explain that when someone extends their hand and reaches for yours. How do you handle the problem since shaking hands and arthritis are not a good mix? Share Your Experiences
Do the Sissy Shake
- As a female manager with RA I can get away with a "sissy shake" in a business setting. I offer two-3 fingers with my palm down (a more dominant posture) which makes the other person reach under with a weaker or submissive grip. If the other person doesn't notice my RA fingers, especially my little finger that stick out from ulnar nerve damage, I THEN explain my that my modified shake is due to RA.
- —Guest Elizabeth95630
Doctor's Grip
- I'll never forget the doctor's appointment with my GP during my first arthritis flare. At the end, he reached out and gave me a hearty hand shake. I basically yelped in pain and he felt pretty bad. Now, I try to hold the person's hand in both of mine, as another person suggested.
- —Guest HP
Avoiding the "Firm" Hand-shake
- Without a doubt, the more enthusiastic another is to meet you, then the tighter the grip of enthusiasm. So, as a hand is extended and I respond, I make an effort to say: I have really bad arthritis. A gentle handshake please. If I forget to say that, the pain reminds me I should not forget next time. Personally, the gentle bumping of fists (The Howie Mandel Hand shake) appeals to me more. I am making an effort to transition to saying I prefer the Howie Mandel hand-shake.
- —Art208
It's a very delicate situation
- I think it's bad manners not shake hands, so whenever possible I only touch the person's fingers, avoiding their end joints and palm of hand. By doing this I can surely avoid a strong/powerfull hand shake and the other person doesn't feel embarrassed.
- —Guest Jose da Silva Neto
Avoiding handshakes
- Having experienced a few well-meaning souls who sought to exhibit their welcoming attitude by crushing my fingers and inflicting excruciating pain, I have learned to do a quick assessment of the person who is offering a hand, and putting my hands behind my back, all the while smiling sweetly and saying: `My hands are full of arthritis, so please excuse me, but I`m so pleased to meet you.`or something along those lines, depending on the situation. So far, it seems to have worked well.
- —Guest Susan
Hide your hands
- I sometimes keep a drink in my hand if at a party. Or, tuck them in my pockets. I try to keep my hands busy or not visible. It's not an A+ solution but works sometimes.
- —Guest BonnieB
Avoid if possible!
- I can usually maneuver people to not initiate a handshake. If I can't, then I'll usually gently hold their hand in both of mine for a couple of seconds to avoid the bone crusher.
- —RMJacobs2
