Readers Respond: What Are Your Pet Peeves About Arthritis?

What are yours? Healthy people who park in handicapped parking spots? Healthy people who use handicapped stalls in public restrooms? People who stare when you have trouble getting up, limp, or walk with your cane? TV commercials that make arthritis look like a walk in the park? People who ask how you're doing but don't really want to hear it? People who don't understand?

What bugs you? Tell us your pet peeves about arthritis. Tell Us What Bugs You

Co-workers

My annoyances occur at work. Some people act as though there is nothing left to talk to me about except my arthritis. Perhaps their intentions are good but I wish they would stop. I hate the constant sympathetic looks from one person: Oh, you poor person! And there's the person who frequently says, "You should get a doctor to look at that." Really? Another person says, "You're still limping." or "You're still walking funny". Could it be that I'm the first person they ever knew to have arthritis?

—Guest Yvonne

Family is my first pain!!

I have had RA since I was 5yrs old and now I am in my 40s. I have handled it great and managed well! Family are my biggest pet peeves. One family once referred to my wrist splints as sympathy bracelets. My dad is always saying why can't you do this for me, your younger than I am. Yes dad I am younger but my body's older. Just because you can't see my pain doesn't mean it's not real. Oh and when your shopping and you drop something and you have to pretend not to notice because your having a bad day and can't bend down to pick it up. Good to all who suffer in silence.

—Guest grippie #1

My rant...

I am 60, diagnosed with RA & Fibro 2 years ago. Was a cook at a high school cafeteria & loved my job, but no longer able to. Also played guitar, but finding that difficult. Hate not knowing if my pain, fatigue, etc is from the RA or the Fibro. Hate taking any pills, but must do so to live. Hate knowing this disease is progressive with no cure. Hate not being able to garden, throw darts, go boating, enjoy long walks... feeling so frustrated! Hate being tired all the time! Hate when my dr doesn't really listen to me. Bugs me he won't sign any disability papers, so I live on my measly $275 @ month CPP (Canada Pension). Frustrated that I get more information from these type of forums, rather than my rheumy "specialist" or my GP! Well that's enough for my rant!

—Guest Bluebird1952

How it affects me...

My pet peeve with my RA is how it has affected my job, my friends and my family. I can't always work the long hours that my job requires at times. My mom worries so much about me, even though my RA is fairly well managed. My friends don't really understand and get frustrated at times when I have to cancel or alter plans or when I just need to take it easy. I worry about how it will progress as I age (I am 38 right now).

—Guest Guest Misti

Arthritis Pet Peeves

Here are just two of many: (1) My rheumatologist won't give me painkillers and expects me to grin but healthy drug users are treated sympathetically and as "victims". (2) Being forced to suffer in silence because nobody believes you anyway when you tell the truth.

—Guest Sooz5555

What Bugs Me

I resent that people think auto-immune rheumatoid arthritis is the same as osteoarthritis. I try to educate people, but I still hear how their knee or elbow hurts and that they probably have it, too.

—Guest Rosie Tucker

Husband's comments

When my husband says but its not cold outside why are your having problems? Or the big one: Why are you having a flare now? If I knew that wouldn't I have done something to prevent it?????

—Guest Kathy

Docs failure to care

I am SICK of drs. who act as tho my pain is nothing since he does not see my issues. Last visit, he said x-rays showed bad but now he says xrays show little problem. This is not the only uncaring 'quack' whom I have to rely on. (No other rheumatologists w/in 250 mi).

—Guest Jann

Hands

The misaligned fingers and weakness of my hands - dropping things all the time, and the bad handwriting I have now.

—Guest Nancy Block

Loss of friendships

My friends no longer call, no invites to hang out, go shopping, lunch invites. It seems I have nothing to contribute. I have a scooter, I can go most places. But I'm never invited. I get emails telling me to "let them know if I need help", but am lucky if I get one response if I do ask. It's just very lonely. Was never meant to be home-bound and alone.

—Guest Jo S

Fatigue

Fatigue is my real pet peeve, as people say if you have slept all night how can you be tired!! Trust me sometimes I'm so tired I would call it exhaustion, people do not see that as an illness!

—Guest ah

Teaching in pain

Met my principal at a social function and no hello, just straight to: "So are you getting around this summer?" Then she walked off before I could answer. At least my students try to make things easier for me. At the end of last school year I took my seventh graders down into Seneca Caverns, about 85 ft. down. I took my time and I was slow being very cautious. One student, Tony, told me,"That's ok Ms. H, I got your back." I laughed and told him, "That better be all you got!" We all laughed. Now sometimes the kids don't respond but, hey...they're teens! They know I have aches and pains and accommodate me accordingly. Some days I can be more mobile than others. Isn't it a shame that adults can be so patronizing? However, my closest teaching buddies have been most supportive. Most parents are supportive. You all will be in my prayers, that does help. My most painful times are when I get home and try to relax because I've been so busy all day. If I'm busy, it doesn't hurt so bad. TKS

—Guest Liz

Stop at the sink

Wet wipes and anti-bacterial gel I will accept! It's those that come out of toilets and walk straight past the sinks and out the door! Yuck!!

—Guest RcJcdUFjARZv

OA v RA

I have OA and boy does it hurt so what it must be like for RA sufferers I hate to think. My heart goes to you all.

—Guest Annie England

Frustrated

First, may I say thank you for this site as it makes me realize I am not alone. I am saddened by the fact that my working career is over. I am a hairstylist who loved her work and got so much satisfaction in making people feel good. Now my hands don't work and simple things like trying to open a jar reduce me to tears. I am 56 and have been made aware that it's going to get progressively worse. I am frustrated by the prescription meds which just eat away at the stomach so I am trying some natural methods. I guess I should be thankful when I read about people like Jackie who at only 24 is suffering, at least I made it to 56 before it completely disrupted my life. Lots of gentle hugs for us all.

—Guest Sheila