Readers Respond: Has Arthritis Made You Feel Guilty?

The inability to be who you really are and come through for others can make you feel guilty. But should you feel guilty? It's happening because of arthritis, and it's beyond your control. Share your feelings - has arthritis made you feel guilty?

Guilt & giving up

You feel like if you had any character you could just keep on going...play thru the pain. You feel like you have let everyone around you down & just what to throw in the towel.

—Guest Debbie

Guilt

I was a ballerina who now can't dance. I feel so bad my work has gone and guilty that I just can't make my body do what I trained for years for it to do. I push and push it to work but it won't. I try not to give in to it but feel guilt because I have to.

—Guest kanga

Neverending Guilt

I live with constant stress from guilt for not being able to work like I use to. My husband works so hard he's always exhausted. I had to give up my job, I try to help watch my grandkids, but it's so hard and takes days to recouperate. My friends and family don't understand the fatigue and depression that go with the pain. I don't go to family functions like I use to and I get attitudes from even my kids. We are close to losing our house and taking financial help from my mother doesn't feel good. My husband is always wonderful he's the only person I don't get guilt trips from, he works so hard welding and never complains about helping me out, but it adds to my guilt that never ends

—Lilnick1960

Oh yes...

Guilt is my constant companion. I used to work 2 jobs and care for our farm. Now I'm happy if the house is clean and dinner ready. I always seem to be making excuses for myself, and even tho they're legitimate, I feel so lazy...

—Guest meganj

Guilt

I used to be a Heavy Goods driver. Now I don't feel able to drive my car some days. I am unable to work and earn a wage which puts a strain on everything as suddenly I depend on my partner for everything and I feel guilty when I cannot keep to comitments I have made with friends -- and my family do not realise the pain I feel both physically and emotionally.

—Guest babydriver

Not Alone!

I can't believe I stumbled across this site. I had hip replacement surgery due to Arthritis back in December and I'm still in so much pain. I just can't stand it and I feel so guilty that I can't do what I used to do. I feel better actually reading that other people feel the same. I think this Arthritis has actually spread to my knees and ankles 'cause I'm in pain all over now. I feel so helpless and guilty all the time.

—Guest Nancy M

To my son

I'm so sorry you can't understand my pain but no matter what son I love you so much, Mom.

—Guest nancy

Guilty

I think guilt is another word for shame. I often feel ashamed not to be able to do what I used to. To have an unwieldy body and daily pain makes me feel like I need to apologize. In our fitness conscious "no pain no gain" society, not being able to be as active a participant physically as we once were can make us feel ashamed.

—Oceangirl103

Guilt

Others don't understand and expect things of me and I feel guilty because they think I am lazy when I can't do strenuous things as it is too hard on my back. I went through this when I was moving out of the family farm after my husband died.

—Guest Ruth

Arthritis and chronic pain guilt

I'm extremely familiar with the guilt that accompanies the chronic pain of arthritis and other orthopedic conditions. The flare ups when you can't do ANYthing.....but rest and take pain killers. And then there are the days when the pain recedes and you are on top of the world-you can do anything!! The problem is -- you never know know when you wake up each morning, how you are going to feel that day. If it's a bad day, and you have a commitment - you're in trouble. To cancel or not to cancel. Pain is so very subjective that others cannot begin to empathize....and your excuses sound lame. I've been dealing with this for years...and the guilt never goes away.

—earthbound2

guilt

yes it does make me feel guilty, my husband works so hard all day and some days getting out of bed is a chore for me. I have always been a hard worker and now I have to watch everything I do. How do you not have guilt?

—Guest Mary