Readers Respond: Did You Ever Try to Conceal That You Have Arthritis?

What is gained by concealing arthritis? Have you done it yourself? What was your motivation? Did you fear losing a job, losing a boyfriend or girlfriend, feel your friends wouldn't understand -- or just plain not want to explain it to strangers?

Do you think there is a deeper issue that comes with concealment? Do you think you were trying to avoid the realities of arthritis -- you know -- encase yourself in denial? How did that work for you?

Living with many types of joint pain

I have had two shoulder replacements and one thumb joint replacement. My left shoulder is frozen but I have learned to live with it. I like to run and hike but now because of all the pain in my right knee I at least for now cannot hike again. I had my right toe broken many years ago and need to wear Spec. shoes. My doc told me you should never run again.

—Guest pete gertsch

Definately yes

Yes I conceal my RA from my friends. Once I confided in a guy I was dating and got dumped. It is difficult for some people to understand what RA is and the impact it has on the sufferers.

—Guest katie

Scared

I was just diagnosed with RA. I was hoping I had something else. I am now learning about it and am scared. I am only 46 yrs old. What can you tell me?

—Guest Lauren

Concealing rheumatoid arthritis/fibro

I concealed it for more than twenty years until I couldn't anymore. People thought I was always tired. I perpetuated the myth. I can no longer hide it so I own up to my issues.

—Guest Rosie

All the time...

I cover it up a lot from co-workers and friends that don't know me very well. When people have found out in the past, they treat me as if I'm broken or... sometimes they would treat me as if I am crazy, because they just can't relate to the pain. It's so indescribable... and when you say it's inflammation, they think of a tension headache or something. It's just too different. I'm around people who complain about an achy leg or a sore wrist, when my joints hurts on a daily basis, all the time. So yeah, I hide it.

—Guest Hayley-Lou

Carry on

I guess I had OA for 15 years before it was diagnosed. I'd take Tylenol and hope the aches would go away. Because I looked well and healthy, doctors would just say I was "neurotic". They really didn't care until I had hip replacement surgery. They broke my femur during the surgery. It was by accident, they said. Post op, I developed RA, but they still weren't sure about that. Finally, after 14 months of blood tests, MRIs and x-rays, they decided I have RA. I now take Methotrexate and Prednisone to contol the systemic inflammation. I am fortunate that I can work from home, because it would be difficult for me to go to the office every day. Because I "looked healthy" and had very good ROM, they failed to check my shoulder pains. Finally, they did MRIs at my request. They discovered I have 3 rotator cuff tears in my right shoulder and 3 in my left shoulder, also. The only cure is surgery, which I do not want. In the meantime, I still carry on as though there's no problem.

—PalomaVanessa

Been in pain but don't know

I am a 35 years old living in KENYA AFRICA. I have been in pain for the last 20 years but I did't know it is Arthritis. I have gone to so many doctors but none seemed to know what is wrong with me, but after the pain became to much to bear I visited a specialist as I was advised by a friend and it happened I have arthritis. The pain is so much in my joints, I now don't know what to tell my wife, and family. Of late, walking and any other manual work has became a problem. In fact, even making love to my wife has become a problem. I am confused and I don't know what to do. The drugs I am using for pain are not helping. Please anybody who can help. Thanks.

—Guest L

An emphatic Yes!

I have done it for the past 15 years from strangers and so called well wishers who always say they feel sorry for u n try to sympathize with you since you have this disease called Rheumatoid Arthritis. Basically I do not want anybody's sympathy.

—Guest Joe Rani

No, no

No. no. Not that, though it is very difficult to really explain what is going on through my joints and the extent of the pain. Actually, I feel good and relaxed whenever I shared my experience of living with RA with others. Mine is so obvious. It could not be denied or concealed. Thank you anyways!

—Guest From Ethiopia

Concealing

Yes, I concealed. When I could not walk, I got a scooter. When I fell, I stayed in my scooter. When I had arthritic attack spasms, I just rubbed it until it went away. All this was to keep my job. The threats and focus on my health at meetings diminished. This is necessary to keep a job I need whether I like it or not.

—Guest Anonymous

Denial or Ignore

I've ignored, as much as possible, the pain of arthritis and fibromyalgia. When I think about it or read about it the pain increases. When I am busy with work or interests, I don't seem to hurt as much. I don't tell most people because I don't want them looking at me differently. Those to who I am close know, and are supportive if I take it a little easy at times. If there were a sure cure, I'd go for it but since there isn't, I'm not going to let it rule my life. I am 65 and have had some arthritis for over 40 years, fibro for the last 8 years.

—Guest sandy

No I have not

Because my OA is in my feet, it is particularly difficult to conceal. In order to walk a distance of more than one city block I have to wear special rocker sole shoes. They are not attractive at all, but they diminish my pain significantly. When I arrive at work I change into more professional shoes with the lowest heal I can find. My co-workers are aware of my OA but I don't make it a topic of conversation. I have not felt that I have been treated any differently.

—zoeysmom0315

Tried but literally "tripped" up

I tried not revealing my osteoarthritis, but I am extremely stiff some days, and one day I was observed limping after getting up from my work space. Your workplace is supposed to accomodate you. However, my experience has been that I was passed over on travel-related or high stress, arduous projects.

—PainFreeAngel

Daily hiding

I don't conceal my arthritis because of denial - but because I try to be stoic and walk normally to preserve some of my joints. I also expect to be misunderstood - I presume 52 is not an early age for osteo - but feel like more people would think I am whiner for acknowledging it at this point in time - my mom at 80 maybe - but not me. Sigh! Stoic I remain as much as possible - probably because I just try to be self-sufficient and somewhat normal in my friend's eyes.

—mamamull

For sure

I have been suffering for 6 years now, and like so many, I really don't like telling people as it is something that doesn't mean much to them. Unless you suffer the pain, it's not something non-sufferers can relate to. The pain is not something easily explained so they can imagine a similar pain. I would not wish it on anyone.

—Guest El Brendano