Parents
It is very hard for parents to cope with the fact that their son or daughter has a disease. Besides feeling bad for the obvious reason that their child has a problem, the parent often feels somehow responsible, as if the problem is their fault. The parent may feel you inherited it from them or that they caused it. There are typically two different reactions that parents can have towards the disease. Parents who choose to deny the problem become the "ignorers". They show less and less concern, ask fewer and fewer questions, and downplay the disease. In contrast, parents can choose to be overly concerned. These parents feel total responsibility for you and feel the need to take care of you. They disregard the fact that you can take care of yourself. They become "smotherers".
The solution:
Try discussing the conflict and see if an understanding can be achieved where both the parent and child have their needs met. If parents are unwilling to change their attitude, concentrate on making yourself feel better.
Siblings
Various emotions can be triggered between siblings when one sibling has a disease and the other is healthy. The sibling with the disease can sometimes feel jealousy, envy, or resentment towards the sibling who has been blessed with an easier life. The healthy sibling can feel jealousy too, for extra attention which is given to the unhealthy sibling. Feelings of pity towards the unhealthy sibling also can develop. By recognizing their differences and yet not understanding why circumstances are as they are, the siblings often emanate these misplaced emotions.
The solution:
Everyone concerned must realize that things are a certain way, even if unexplainable. Once again, understanding and communication is critical. Siblings must allow each other to realize their full potential, and whatever that potential is, it must be acceptable.
Related Resources
Source: Coping With Rheumatoid Arthritis, by Robert H. Phillips, Ph.D.
